Family: The foundation of life.
I have always enjoyed the drive from Vancouver to Alberta, though, this particular trip home was with a heavy heart and not too much excitement. A funeral is never the best circumstances for a visit. Since I found out that my Grandmother was dying in hospital and since she passed away, my skin problem has been the last of my worries. As my instructor at school said it, "You're arranging the pots on the stove."
I was worried about my Mom, it breaks my heart to know that her heart is hurting. I was worried about by sister and that she was having to grieve for my Grandma without her family because she couldn't make it for the funeral. I was worried about my brother because I know he doesn't deal with people passing away very well. My heart and my head worried about the ones that I loved. I couldn't bare to know that they were in pain.
There is something about Alberta that changes something inside of me. Maybe its the thick forest of pine, birch, and spruce trees that stand strong on either side of the road that gives me some sort of comfort. Or the openness of the vast prairie sky, with the living clouds and the bright colors that lets me know Creator and my ancestors are watching over me. In any case, I feel a sense of home and belonging when I see these things.
As I pulled into my Grandma's house, it felt different. The house itself even looked different. It was a reminder of how long it has been since I was last at Grandmas house, and that made me sad. I walked into the house and was comforted by the old familiar smell, and the comfort of the warmth that Grandma's house always gave me. Inside the house was almost bare, as if Grandma already knew to start giving her things away. It was still Grandma's house, just much more simpler. My Mom gave me her famous hug and kiss, and I instantly felt better. A mother's touch is so gentle, and simple yet so fulfilling and lasting. I breathed a sigh of relief and was glad to be home with my Mom.
After we finished freshening up, we went over to my Aunty Gail's house. Everyone was at my Aunty Gail's house, and again, I realized how long it has been since I was at her house with all my Mom's side of the family. As soon as I walked in I was bombarded with hugs and hello's and "so good to see you!" I immediately felt loved. In a instant I realized that it didn't matter how long it has been since your family has seen you, they are just as happy to have you around. I talked and laughed, and hugged so many people.
We went over to the funeral home for Grandma's wake. There were tears of sadness and joy, and celebration of the beautiful life and legacy she left for us all. We took turns telling stories and paying tributes to the woman who started this all. The celebration of someone's life is so beautiful and bittersweet.
The next day was the funeral. I was blown away by how many people were there. It was an honor to witness how many lives she touched with her beautiful heart and grace in God. What an inspiration Grandma was. I gathered so much strength over the weekend, and it made my heart fill with joy to see how many people loved her. Most of all, I loved that she started such an incredible family and we all carried on her legacy to keep the family going with love for one another.
There is something beautiful about family that you can never get anywhere else. With family comes an instant bond, a history. It's the reassurance that no matter what happens or how long it has been, there will always be a story or a memory that someone can share with you to bring a smile to your face and to connect you to them. I appreciate that about family.
It was my husband's first time meeting all of my Mom's family at once, although he was overwhelmed with the abundance of them and not be able to remember anyone's name, he loved them.
"Your family is so nice!" He kept saying. He marveled at the how big my Mom's family was, and how there was such a extensive record of pictures, and scrapbooks from each family that we all took turns looking at and refreshing our memories. He was astounded by the presence of God in my Mom's family, the prayers and the hymn songs that filled the house. It made me feel so proud to see how my family made such an impression on him.
Coming from a mixed heritage of Cree and Irish, I always felt somewhat torn of how to honor both sides. My mom being adopted, there wasn't culturally an Irish influence to grab ahold of. Living on the reserve, I was immersed into my Dad's side of the family and have always identified with myself as being Cree more than anything else. My Mom's side of the family, in one way of describing them, would be religious. They're Christians. I wasn't sure if my beliefs and their beliefs would have any relationship, or at the very least, some sort of overlap.
Over the weekend it was apparent to me that what we believe in is in direct relationship to each other. We both have a love and a relationship with our Creator. We both sing songs that fill our spirit with the messages of God. We both attend Church, they just physically look different than one another. When we were at the gravesite, and we each put down a red rose for Grandma onto the coffin, I also offered tobacco to my cousin Clinton who is passed away at the age of 13, his grave is next to Grandma and Grandpa's. I offered tobacco to Grandpa and put it on his headstone, and lastly I offered tobacco to my Grandma and I set it on her coffin. I silently said a prayer to her and just when I was finished I looked up and there were what seemed like a hundred cranes flying in majestic patterns right above us. They flew over us for a few minutes and just as they appeared, they were gone again. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.
The next day I stayed over at my Kokum's house. All the Aunts and Uncles came over to have lunch and it was neat to see the difference and the similarities between my Mom's and Dad's family. My Mom's family was so concerned about my condition, and much of the time I spent was talking about what was happening. They all expressed their love and hope that I would get better, hugging me and offering up prayers. My Dad's side of the family didn't say anything about it, I did talk about it with them but most of the time was talking and catching up. Laughing and teasing each other. Though as everyone started to leave, my aunty, my uncle, my cousin, my Kokum, and my husband went out and picked medicine for me. My Kokum took out her medicines and made me tea, and made me medicines to smudge with. She boiled the picked medicines and she put it on my body.
"You wear this Marie," she said and she gave me some of her pajamas. "Don't wear tight clothes, your skin needs to breathe."
"Here drink this tea, make sure you drink it all up."
"Here you smudge with this, smudge your forehead, breathe it in too."
She packed a bag of bandages, the picked medicines, and the tea she had made for me. She gave me specific instructions on how to use the medicines, and to make sure that I do what she says. Her gentle but concerning instructions filled my heart with love.
It was interesting to see how each family expressed their love and concern, they both made my spirit filled. I left Alberta feeling 100% different than when I had arrived. Anyone who knows me, knows that my family means the world to me. Without them, I am nothing. I love walking into my Aunty Gail's house or my Kokum's house and hearing the busy noise of laughter, and chatter. I love sitting around the table eating dinner, and talking and teasing each other. I love the sound of kids running around and getting yelled at by the parents.
There is something about family that recharges you. It makes you strong. Its like they all come in with their love, their playfulness, their laughter and their stories to share with you whatever it is that you need. Family is foundation. They are at the beginning, who is there throughout, and who will be at the end. They are the chosen people that will know you through and through, remembering things about you that you couldn't remember or see in yourself. They are there to love you unconditionally, accepting of you regardless of your faults, your conditions, or your circumstances.
I love my family and have the greatest appreciation for all of them. They are the foundation of my life.
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