The Power of Prayer and Healing
I want to tell you of a miracle because I believe that miracles are to be shared. To uplift the spirit, to give inspiration and hope to those that need it. To spread love and faith that things will get better in times of need.
Miracles happen in the smallest and biggest ways, in any case they are undeniable and in my opinion, cannot be called anything less than what they are.
I experienced a miracle this morning.
This is my story.
I had somewhat of a strange weekend. The week has been hard since I returned from Alberta. My body did not respond well to the 12hr travel in the vehicle and much of the week was spent being sore, and in pain. School was hard to sit through because my sores were sticking to my clothes and my face was really inflamed. The medicines my Kokum had sent home with me seemed to be the only thing that was helping.
By the time I came home from school on Friday, I was physically and emotionally exhausted.
The weather seemed to match the consistency of my mood, and all weekend it rained and rained and rained. I spent the weekend wearing long skirts and baggy shirts, remembering what my Kokum said. "Your skin needs to breathe."
I did the little housework I could around the house, and kept busy with my homework assignments. I kept up with drinking the medicine tea my Kokum sent home with me, twice a day, smudging every morning, and having medicine baths every other night.
On Sunday morning, Michael and I went to church. Being back home, I felt great comfort in attending church with my family and I felt that it would be good to attend church in Vancouver. The church we attended was a good church, though it felt as though something was missing. Maybe it was the dynamics of the people from back home. I expected to hear someone rejoice with a "Amen!" or "That's right!" like my Uncle Peter does.
When the choir sang, I expected to hear the harmony of everyone joining in, singing their hearts out like they do back home. I expected to hear laughter and joy.
What I heard was silence. Yawning. Boredom.
I left feeling somewhat disappointed. I left feeling unfulfilled. It did not deter me from wanting to go to a different church this weekend. I talked to my Kokum about it and she said, "You'll know when you're there. You'll feel peace."
I noticed that since I've been back home, my prayers are a little different from what they use to be. I missed the presence of Jesus in my prayers and in celebration. I never stopped believing in that aspect of my spirituality and belief in Creator, but I noticed that I stopped acknowledging him. I am not entirely sure why, especially because they are many oral accounts in First Nations cultures around Canada and the United States that talk about Jesus visiting them.
When I smudge and pray now, I acknowledge him. I not only feel a difference in how I feel but I also feel as though I am honoring the other side of my family and the teachings that they have given me. As my friend Char said it, "Your expanding. You're spirit is craving more."
I think it's more that I am finally putting the two parts together, where they belong.
As I mentioned in my previous blog, I have never had the experience of seeing my mom's family and my dad's family in one weekend. The experience of that has given me the wholeness of who I am in such a rare perspective, that I don't think I could have asked for it to be more clear.
Now.. for the miracle.
Sunday night my sister came over to visit. We talked about the visit back home, we talked about Grandma, and we shared stories about the family. It was great to spend a rainy evening with her, sitting on the couch drinking coffee and laughing.
I was still feeling quite sore, though I was happy to hang out with my sister. It was the simplest of moments but it brought the most comfort over the stormy weekend.
That night before I went to bed, I did my normal ritual of drinking my tea and washing my face with the medicines. I lay down in bed, say my prayers and go to sleep.
Just before six o'clock this morning, before my alarm went off, I felt myself start to slowly wake up. I was in and out of sleep, fighting to keep my eyes closed because I knew that it was way too early. I felt a weird sensation on top of me. There was a huge weight and pressure on top of my stomach, as if someone had placed something incredibly heavy on me.
I moved my hands on top of me to feel what it was. It was a bear's head. It was massive. I could feel the hardness of it's skull under it's fur. I couldn't believe how big it was, it felt as though my hands were spread so far from each other as I moved my hands around feeling as much of it as I could. It didn't move. It just laid on top of me, I could feel the warmth radiating from underneath its thick fur.
All of a sudden I heard Michael's voice, "Babe, I'm turning on the light."
I felt the light hit my eyes and I slowly opened my eyes, I could still feel the massive bear on top of me. When I opened my eyes, my hands were on my stomach. My fingers spread wide apart, as if I was holding on to something so big.
I looked a Michael, "There was a bear on top of me."
He smirked, "A bear?"
"Yeah, I think I am going to start getting better really soon."
He laughed and continued to get ready.
As I got up, I prepared myself for the soreness and the sticking of the sores to my clothes, as I do every morning. Though this morning, I got out of bed without any pain at all. My clothes did stick a little, but there was no pain. I didn't have to slowly pull away my clothes from my wounds. I felt incredible!
I sleepily walked into the washroom, I looked down at my legs. My sores were all scabbed over. The skin turning pink, and healing. I looked at myself in the mirror. My nose! My nose is healing! I couldn't believe it!
"Michael! Look at my nose!" I yelled, freaking out.
He came rushing over and looked at me. His eyes went wide in exclamation.
"Whaaaat!?!" he said staring at me in disbelief.
He took a step back.
"You're weird!"
I just stood there staring at myself with a sleepy, goofy smile on my face.
Michael stared at me, shaking his head in awe at the complete transformation from how I looked before I went to sleep the night before.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" That is all I could say all morning.
For the rest of the day, I've been feeling great. I even wore jeans today! My skin hasn't been sticking to my clothes. I can walk normally without being pain. I feel so incredibly blessed today.
My appointment with Dr.Yu is tomorrow, I can't wait until he sees how much as changed.
I know that there has been so many people praying for me and I can't thank everyone enough for their love and prayers.
I've been given a gift of faith that things are going to be just fine, and I am incredibly grateful for the grace of God my Creator, my ancestors, my spirit helpers, those who prayed for me and, of course, Jesus. :)
The bear spirit in my culture is the spirit of healing, bear medicine is one of the most powerful medicines.
This is me as of today. I felt it was good to show the comparison of what my nose looked like before (on the left) and what I woke up to this morning (right).
Kinanaskomitin nimunito, nimosom, nohkom. muskwa muskigi <3
"thank you creator, grandfathers and grandmothers, bear medicine."
A miracle. Nothing short than what I had this morning.
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